a not-so-wise man once said to me “if not now, when?” and while i usually had a good deal of disdain for the guff he spouted from his spoilt lips (for he was the proud bearer of the pout of priviledge) this struck a chord. finding the right time for things has been the bane of my existence for as long as i can remember, for much of my life i’ve coped with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – or in less fragrant terms the shit life shovels at you –  by imagining myself to be a sort of princess in waiting (im)patiently anticipating my coronation.

mine was always the upper hand, decidedly ignoring the drudgery around me and instead fixing my gaze resolutely into the future when all those who laughed me to scorn would laugh no more. while this is a fantastic method for blinkering one’s eyes from the flourescent glare of reality it does tend to mean that a good deal of things pass you by as you block out the beauty of the  everyday; not to mention that escapism is all well and good until your sanity decides to leg it too.

so in a bid to connect more with the present – eustacia has descended from mount olympus to try her hand at mortal life – warts and all. having dismounted my faithful steed – the elevated equine my posterior has become far too accustomed to – i’ll feel the delightful squelch of mud beneath me (as opposed to the rest of the world), the exhileration of falling face first and getting things oh so wrong. who knows maybe i’ll develop a less pompous lexicon to boot… we live in hope.

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