despite having not snoozed all day and going to bed at a sensible-ish time slumber has eluded me this evening save for a few stolen hours at midnight.

chose to snooze on my bedroom floor, the noise abberation brought about by my mother’s return from church put me in a decidely bad mood, interuppting as it did my new jumpsuit sashaying session. a few hours of doubled-up dozing and i found myself outside the gates of nod bemused and befuddled. after crawling in with dear mama the cruel mistress of snoozing was being coy and thus tiredness gave way to a flurry of ideas.

ALARM BELLS alert: please dear god let this not be the start of another “sleep is boring” spiral of mania… i just can’t deal with another blowout. no more spending money like warra, no more brawling like sailor and no more drinking like a fish AND no more preposterous and unfounded declarations of supremacy.

in fairness the ideas that were skipping around my head shakily like nobbly-kneed fawn were far from grandiose and rather practical.

(alas i remember that’s how it all started last time, next thing you know i was on some rick james “i’m rich bitch” vibe straight cold blooded and acting like a GODDAMN fool)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe

back to the matter in hand

the moment of ellucidation was actually rather brilliant for i remembered my love radio and also that it is a few months away from the next round of bbc radio doc commissioning (which like christmas comes but once a year, pfft) and so i’d do well to come up with some fresh pitches that i could perhaps shop to somethin’ else (with tail firmly between legs of course)

this in turn led me to remember JUST how much i love documentaries and my long held faciscination with how other people live, beyond noseyness this is nigh on a full blown obsession. i’m a born voyeur, which is probably what makes me so anxious as i’m constantly surveying what’s going on – i can’t help it. so doc making could be a wonderful POSITIVE use of my eagle eyes dontcha think?

and it’s definitely a true passion, people-watching is one of my greatest loves.

allowing me to feel part of the world but from a safe distance. connected yet sepearate like a magnet hovering in a forcefield. wow clunky phrase alert – ah well i’ve only had 3hours sleep so tis to be expected.

not to mention that my brain has only just returned from a 6month vacation in the depths of hell, a little readjustment time is to be expected.

right. so i must act on this newfound passion and devise a way for it to interlock into all of my other passions, plans and preposterous ideas. gotta get it all n’sync and connect the dots so i don’t feel torn or lost and instead i finally embark on realising my potential. YUK. hate that phrase.

if i make it all work out i shall treat myself to a flip camera, or hoof one… whichever’s easiest.

my leg is jigging as though its being humped by a rabid yorkshire terrier YUK. make. it . stop.

hmmm what other marvellous plans came to mind in the middle of the night????

surely there was more…

hmmm that’ll do for now.

MUST READ MORE BTW

FUCK THE INTERNETTTT

Egdon will not be overcome by crunktastical alone

x

E

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